In this series, we will explore finite ways you can achieve personal happiness.
First and foremost, you will never be happy if you don’t deal with the people in your life. Let’s face it, they influence us. Other people have been influencing us since puberty. We looked to our peers to figure out our own status. We watched our families to find our roots. We joined clubs and groups to explore our interests. We have been defining ourselves emotionally, mentally, and physically since we have been old enough to care about ourselves by looking at how we stack up to others.
1. Surround Yourself With The Right People
The right people embrace you, encourage you, and not only support you and nurture you, but also support your dreams. (Note: Your Dreams, not Their Dreams)
While sometimes in a work family you cannot get away from people who bring you down because you need your job, you can deal with them head-on. Don’t shy away from difficult situations with others, but write them down, think about them, confide in others about them, and formulate a plan of action. Tell the difficult person how you feel. If you are a manager or boss, be prepared to get a little mean. Do it for yourself and the stress relief. You might get an apology, or find out that this is part of a bigger problem you can solve and make things better all around.
In family, whether biological or made by circumstance, facing off against those that you have issues with can be volatile, and emotionally stressful. It is better to say it and get it out there, take a stand for yourself, than to swallow the emotions and get torn up inside. You can’t control how others react. You can only control how you will handle your life. That means letting others know you want or do not want to be involved in their life and letting them know your standards of treatment.
Your friends are chosen. That being said, sometimes they choose you and hang around way too much. You can either be flattered, or overwhelmed. Be frank if you have to and tell them how you feel. They will respect it, or they will be left behind. Even if the situation gets ugly, it’s better to rip the band-aid off quickly and get it over with. We all have a limited amount of time on this planet and we don’t want to spend it being miserable. Get help if you need it. Get advice. Get the law. Keep those around you who lift you up and make you smile.
Conversely, if someone wants you around, they will make time for you. Good friends spend time together. Even if you have a career that keeps you busy 12 hours a day, you will find some time to chill out with those you love and want near you. Your true friends will, too.